Have You Lost
a Loved One to Suicide?When someone commits suicide, family members and close friends suffer severe mental turmoil. Many blame themselves for the tragedy. They say such things as: 'If only I had spent a little more time with him that day,' 'If only I had held my tongue that time,' 'If only I had done a little more to help him.' The implication is, 'If only I had done this or that, my loved one would still be here.' Is it fair, though, to assume the blame for the suicide of another?
Remember, it is only too easy to recognize signs of suicidal feelings after
the fact. In the present, it is a different matter. The Bible says: "The
heart alone knows its bitterness, and no outsider can share in its joy."
(Proverbs 14:10,
Tanakh) Sometimes it is simply impossible to discern what another person is thinking or feeling. Many suicidal people just cannot adequately communicate their innermost feelings to others, even to close family members.
The book Giving Sorrow Words says this about the signs that a person
may be suicidal: "The reality is that it's usually not easy to discern such
signs." The same book adds that even if you had recognized some telltale
signs, that in itself would not guarantee that you could have prevented the suicide.
Rather than torment yourself, you may find comfort in the words of wise King Solomon:
"The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are
conscious of nothing at all." (Ecclesiastes
9:5) Your loved one is not being tormented in a fiery hell. And the mental
and emotional anguish that led him to suicide have ended. He is not suffering;
he is simply at rest.
It might be best now to focus on the welfare of the living, including yourself.
Solomon continued: "All that your hand finds to do, do with your very power"
while you are alive. (Ecclesiastes
9:10) Rest assured that the future life prospects of those who have committed
suicide are in the hands of Jehovah, "the Father of tender mercies and the
God of all comfort."—2
Corinthians 1:3. *
* You will find a balanced view of the future prospects for those who have committed suicide in the article "The Bible's Viewpoint: Suicides—A Resurrection?" in the September 8, 1990, issue of Awake!
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